Social media’s a double-edged sword for gay men. ‘Apps have done more harm than good to the community’ Also, everyone’s on apps. The apps serve a purpose – I’ve used them, know many people who have met great friends and life partners on them – but there’s also a lot of destructive behaviour involved. Then there’s been a proliferation of the ‘body beautiful’ culture. (A common complaint for them is that they can’t reconcile the two worlds they live in. That’s not to say they don’t have their own problems around midlife and loneliness – they do – and of course some of the gay men I work with have children. Meanwhile, straight people – albeit not to stereotype – are more likely to have children and settle down earlier. It takes place on Gay Star News from 29 April to. This year, we are focusing on tackling loneliness and isolation.
For people my age, we’re the first generation to have been completely out and learning how to transition into a happy and healthy gay midlife.ĭigital Pride is the only global Pride and is dedicated to enabling everyone to be part of a Pride, whoever they are and wherever they live in the world. Then the generation above me was decimated by the disaster of HIV/AIDS. If you think about it, there have been precious few older gay men to lead the way – two generations older than me, being gay was illegal. What do you do next if your social world’s built around the gay scene, looking good, sex, drugs? This transition can happen at any age and lead to disconnection.Ĭlients come with individual challenges or objectives, but it’s true that as people get older, they think more seriously about who they are, living with integrity and meaning, making a contribution.
At some point the disco lights always come on. But I didn’t have a road-map for what comes next. Mine lasted from my 20s into my 40s, which I have no regrets about. Especially if your identity is based around how you look and you can’t keep up with 20-somethings anymore.Īs gay men, we can experience a late-onset and extended adolescence – a kind of ‘Peter Pan syndrome’. Into their late 30s and 40s, men start to change physically. Guys in their early 30s can be concerned that their careers are flatlining. They include learning to thrive as a gay man as they get older, finding meaningful work and creating authentic connections. They can be savvy about the need for personal investment.įor older guys, certain issues come up regularly. They’re proactive about their growth and preempt problems by making informed choices. The guys in their 20s are often more attuned to coaching. The gay men I work with range from their 20s to 50s. ‘Guys in their 20s want to be proactive about their own growth’ I work with everybody regardless of gender or sexual orientation, and while I’ve had the occasional bisexual or lesbian client, around 50% of my clients are gay men, and 50% straight men and women. (A Postgraduate Certificate in Business and Personal Coaching from the University of Chester, a Results Brain-Based Coaching Certificate from The Neuroleadership Institute and a Certificate in the Therapeutic Use of Mindfulness from the British Mindfulness Institute).Īs I began building my coaching practice The Authentic Life Company and working with clients I fell in love with the work. I gained my qualifications based in coaching psychology, neuroscience and adult learning.
In 2013, I retrained as a personal and professional development coach.
Something more meaningful, age-appropriate. I decided I wanted to try a second career. When I looked around the office I could see there weren’t many people in their 50s. TV’s pretty much young person’s industry. In my 40s, while in a higher management role in a global corporation, I started to feel unsatisfied with my career. I met my partner 17 years ago, and we’re still going strong. Being gay was never an issue at those big broadcasters.
I moved to London and, for years, enjoyed a career in broadcast TV at the BBC, Channel 4 and the Discovery Channel. I had a relatively easy time with my own sexuality: a sheltered upbringing in Yorkshire in the 70s I came out to friends and family as gay while at university with no big issues.